How have you been my friend? There have been rumors, so I'm not sure what to believe and what not to anymore, making it hard to ask even the simplest questions. Here things are slowly getting better. Yet, the sudden death of my cousin whom I consider a sister has taken its toll on my extended family and my own personal life. Losing a daughter, sister, wife, cousin, mother, niece, aunt, best friend - is the hardest thing imaginable and she was all of those things. It's been over a month now and yet the pain has not lessened. Even I had a moment as I glanced at one of my favorite photos of her.
But in addition to the pain. also comes anger. Anger that has caused even more heartache and pain. Some of that anger I've experienced from others and in some ways it's starting to take its toll on me. I stopped having the passion that feeds my soul, my writing. The desire has once again, so I fear I may never finish my novel, before the deadline of the contest ends. I had been trying to make it a goal every single day to write, even if just a few words, so that I knew something was at least done. And while I did write for hours yesterday, later, that very same evening, I lost my desire to write completely. My thoughts were focused on a moment of hurt and pain I had experienced, and I allowed depression to take over me.
Today, I've opened my document, hoping to find the words I so desperately need to complete my novel. Yet, not only is the depression taking over my passion in life for writing, it has affected my work-life, as well as my personal life and my health.
Today however, I'm trying to start anew, I'm trying to regain my life and pull more power through my soul. Today I'm trying to be Lois Lane.
Joy Smith also known as The Insane Writer, is the author of the Sci-Fi novel, The Generation. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+ and LinkedIn.