May 30, 2013

What's a Girl to Do

There are some days I wonder if anyone gets it or maybe it's just me and I don't get it. Any way I go about it, it's no longer about me, it's about everyone else, just as it has always been.

There are some days when I'm so lost, wanting to build a better future without losing myself. A few days ago I was told I shouldn't be a writer because I have kids. That it just wouldn't work, so I've set the idea of writing my novel on the backburner again.

I've set the idea of sky-diving on there too. And then I get these slaps from life, these teases of friends doing exactly what I want to be doing. I don't see why I can't do those things too, even with kids. I just don't understand it.

One thing I do know. The stress is slowly killing me. I'm finally starting to shut down. My memory is getting worse, my bladder is sending pain on and off, there's a pressure in my chest and pain in my heart at times. What's a girl to do? What's a girl to do.