June 18, 2010

Looking Back

Looking back into my past, it suddenly occurred to me that there were a few things I should have done differently. One being that when I was around 16 years old, I went to California for a week with my grandmother. She was generous enough to pay for most of my trip there, while I helped a little with some money from a babysitting job I'd had at the time.

The first thing that went wrong was we'd had a misunderstanding on how long we'd be staying since I was still a regular babysitter for a single mom and had taken a week off for that. I had assumed that the entire trip would be just one week and I guess so had my parents. My grandmother however, had assumed it would be a week in California only, and not including the bus trip to and from. When she learned differently she became very upset with me and ignored me for the remainder of the trip.

Then, a few days before we were due to leave for home, I started my period and ran out of pads. And of course because I'd used all of my money to help my grandmother with the trip, I had to ask her if she would buy me some feminine products. I remember her still being very angry and how worried I was that she would be even angrier with me for needing to borrow some money. Of course she wasn't and understood.

And since she couldn't drive she had her brother's step-son drive me to get what I needed. That was the first time I realized he liked me as more than just a friend. And back then I thought nothing about the age difference and him being in his early 20's.

And during our ride to town, he made his confession that he wanted to go out with me. He even confessed that he'd watched me sleeping on the couch the first night my grandmother had kicked me out of the bedroom. Oddly enough I thought it was sweet, but thinking back it was a little creepy. Still, it wasn't long after that that I decided to go out with him. And to be perfectly honest, it was probably the strangest relationship that I'd ever been in.

We never once really made out or even slept together. But there was one time in his letters to me that he told me he may have a problem with sex because he'd broken his back falling from a firetruck while he'd been washing it down. True story? It's hard telling if it is or not.

We kept in contact for the remainder of the summer and he sent me a promise ring. But when my senior year rolled around I met and fell in love with the father of my children and decided to call off my relationship with the guy from California.

So I wrote him a breakup letter and sent the ring back to him. Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to him just out of curiosity, but now that I think about our entire relationship I have to seriously wonder just what was going through his mind when he asked a 16 year old girl out. Maybe it was innocent enough because it certainly was from my end of things and of course back then it wasn't uncommon for a high school kid to be dating a college student, but still it just makes me wonder.

Joy Smith also known as The Insane Writer, is the author of the Sci-Fi novel, The Generation. You can email her at silent_beautie@yahoo.com She can also be found on Twitter @theinsanewriter and you visit her official website at www.theinsanewriter.com.WomenFreebies.com - Enter to Win Royal Secret II Perfume